I would forgive, but not forget. I find it hard to feel like this as Im a kind a loving person and hate conflict albeit I've been forced to deal with it. I am finding out now that I am divorced and seeing a counselor that many of my feelings are normal. I would suggest that you , just for you, someone who can help you process these emotions and consider what healthy boundaries will look like for you in these circumstances. I found out a lot more then, like he had a threesome with the affair partner and her friend, he slept with the friend, why? Im not worried at all about being alone now. My husband denied it, and I believed him. This is not about you not being enough in some way.
As an example he came home 11 days out of 365 one year. But I was still conflicted about whether to file for divorce. You might be amazed, but I was still hopelessly in love with him. I think most men know it is not healthy to watch porn. I am so afraid I am going to wake up one day and my life with him will be over.
Then I found things about him thinking of his x and flirting with other girls. I want to save my marriage but I want to save me as well. I am in tears even as I write this. I realize after reading this that I am becoming that self absorbed shadow of a person that you described. Unfortunately, not all unfaithful partners will react with honesty, humility or empathy when their betrayal is discovered.
He would never have admitted to a lot of it if I hadn't threatened to get a court order to read the texts between the 2 of them. So why bother writing all this down? He started cheating 8 years into our marriage, soon after our 3rd child was born. Looking back, I guess I wanted to believe him, but deep down, I knew! Men who use porn are women haters, sexual exploiters and abusers. It is because of these unrealistic expectations I placed on our relationship that I chased after these lies and accepted them as a reality in my life. In fact, I recall sobbing my heart out in the bedroom on my return home as I was so upset by his lack of caring and coldness, during which he sat on the phone to his friend downstairs laughing and joking all the time knowing that I was so upset upstairs. I gained weight hoping that my breasts would grow.
He's done it again albeit 'she' is still hanging on in there for his money no doubt. What did you do about these things? I have watched porn and it does nothing for me sexually. By reading this, you agree that none of the experts offering information are liable for actions you or others take. Which we did, then I find out while I was at class he pleasured himself anyway and even checked out a dating site along with the usual porn. His a fantastic father, a terrible partner and sometimes my worst enemy.
I have watched this evolve in the culture from print photos to videos to internet streaming. Also, p would probably be a great help as well. He may spout false information with such conviction that it makes you start to question your own recollections. I did not challenge her, and she did not explain. Read, understand and research — it is the only way to recover! She knows ill do it if she wants. If he has to spend money he does so on a debit card and gives me any receipts.
Rather, it sounds like a he kind of blames you and b isn't willing to make even a minimal gesture in the direction of reparations. I prayed that God would reveal truth and that I would learn to be honest with Him, others and myself. I know, because I was there. A part of me misses him but the other part feels disgust, anger, hatred. These microexpressions are impossible to fake—which makes spotting one the closest thing we have to mindreading. This used to make me feel even worse about myself. Gone through the stages of wrath, betrayal, lies, etc.
I was heartbroken when I saw the intimate pictures with the another women. I want to find out what those things are so we can enjoy one another. He has a simple phone, and no money. I dont feel so alone right now. It only went back 30 days, but it was a multiple time a week event.