This is extremely frustrating because she wants me to be the ideal husband in every other way except that. You ladies may not like my answer and consider completely wrong ,but you guys know I'm right. Before I get to my main point, let me just explain that my wife and I are highly sexually compatible and, despite my inability -due to any number of factors for things that have happened in my life- to get it up from time-to-time, she loves me for who I am, and I love her for who she is. Please stir up in me passion and desire for my husband. But I believe you will find inspiration and at least some help to make changes that are needed in intimately connecting with your marriage partner. He believes that her refusal denies him the thing he feels entitled to.
I do as much if not more around the house and am a great father. He shouldn't have to beg for it or have to wait for that once-a-year opportunity! He even had the nerve to get upset when I kept telling him that I was in pain. I hate the fact that I do all the things that are meant to make a wife happy but all I get is constant rejection…. Probably not, but think again. She never touches my penis, and doesn't even come close to brushing up against it! The conference this year is going to be incredible with 8 deep dive mentors and 14 breakout speakers. Most theologians and people who have thoroughly studied the book of Song of Songs believe it includes positive references to marital oral pleasure. Any touching of sexual organs by the mouth or tongue is considered off-limits, or immoral.
Have you any advice for wives who have a higher sex drive than their husbands? Do you badger her, nag her, make snide remarks? I've been married 8 years so I know enough to know that doesn't work. My husband suddenly started persuading me to do oral sex. I do however wish to get rid of the thoughts. I've found that oral sex is not casual for me, which means that—I'm sorry, sailor—you can't show up at midnight, jump under the sheets, and expect to blow my mind. Why is being told no to sex once such a big deal to you? I know this probably goes without saying, but if there are concerns about sexually-transmitted diseases, then a couple needs to be wise to not expose each other to risks. He can help you exchange wrong thinking with godly thinking.
Tagged as: , Question - 26 November 2005 14 Answers - Newest, 3 March 2012 A male , anonymous writes: My wife refuses to do oral on me and does not like me doing it on her. We have been married for 4 years and have 2 small boys. Try to seek some form of intimacy with your man in spite of his physical condition. I don't know if she's self conscious about it or worried about how she will act if it feels good or what. Sex was validation for my self-worth, not a mutual act of appreciation and love.
When I started to refuse, she became upset. But be careful in how you do this. There are certain three-word phrases most people probably wouldn't want to hear in bed. Being human is complex, especially with waves of emotions and desires crashing into our bodies. Only you can change your situation…. It's a part of sex that I enjoy and am not willing to let go.
I agree with Anon, for some women it is a fear that they don't smell good or that they will pass gas while you are down there. While he helps with the house its with the constant reminder there is not woman in the house. Repeat: her body, not her face. You can discuss and reason together about all the whys until you two can arrive to an answer. You have to make a decision on how important is oral sex to you? You can try to get her to get an education about sex, and see an sex therapist- if she won't go, go yourself, and maybe the therapist can give you some ideas and materials to share with your wife about oral sex, so that your wife will learn that it is both natural, and fun.
Yep, been here as well, my friend. But oral sex demands total surrender to the moment and the person you're with. Sex and love are full of private meanings. She should settle for a life time of obligation pity sex. Far too often, I see a resentful woman with little sexual desire for her partner, married to a resentful man for her lack of desire.
How many days has it been, anyway? I recently discussed on another thread that for some of us, the clit is like an exposed live wire that can deliver pain and shock easier than it delivers pleasure. I never have a problem giving her oral sex and I don't know why she can't do the same for me. If she's just not into it, there's not much you can do. When you are mentally excited about having sex, your whole body tends to follow. Satisfying her is a big part of it for me but she doesn't seem to understand. It cultivates trust and togetherness, leading to more erotic and passionate lovemaking. However, after the miscarriage it is non existent.
I believe there is a lot of value in having a healthy sex life as a married couple. One of the things that sex is designed for is to bring you and your man closer together. Once you've been forced to tug wearily at a man's ears for the umpteenth time to keep his head above your waist, you start to understand that is, for many, considered the 'holy grail' of sex. Your moist, warm mouth — combined with the oral gymnastics your lips and tongue are performing — can create a multitude of thrilling sensations. But something has happened in their marriage.